Category Archives: random

Why Change the Movement

When you can just roll the clock back and forth to match DST.

Tilt it forward to spring ahead, tip it back to fall back.


The extraordinary ordinary

Dan showed me this but I didn’t realize it was actually a weapon of sorts.

Then it dawned on me. This is an extraordinary ordinary item. This is a weapon, concealed as a pen. The last I knew, pens were allowed into secure locations. Think about it.

This is how insane we are.

This email strain started out simple enough. However, it somehow took a turn for the mystical and perhaps moronical.

Me- Do you have some nice white or black fabric in which we  could shoot the watch, product style.

Dan-Why yes I have quite a few things to put a watch on for a macro shoot. I also have some lighting.

M- I sense a plan. Now we just need action. ha

D- I see a shoot for tomorrow.

M-Shall I bring the reflector?

D- If you want. I have a few too. Actually you have mine and my tripod.

M (the turning point here)-Is your tripod still being held hostage by the trunk gnomes? shit. And I don’t have your reflector. Never borrowed it.

D- They are being held hostage by the trunk gnomes too.

M- When did you intend on using that?

D- I don’t know just thought I’d bring them along. The gnomes told me to.

M-Yes, well, they can be demanding at times. Their appetite grows large as I rarely feed them. You now see what happens when I do.

D- You should feed them some of the napkins. They told my tripod that they need some fiber to digest the reflectors.

M-I’m sure there’s fiber in the tennis balls that they have been feasting on for years. I’m not sure we should give into their ransoms. That could be catastrophic.

D- They may start eating the trunk if we do.

M- And how the hell would I explain that to Volkswagen? But how does one go about removing trunk gnomes really?

D- They leave when leases expire. They are evil little bastards that cause outrageous amounts of damage to make your return as  unpleasant as possible

M-I’m almost certain you have them mistaken for the Volkswagen line workers. I think I saw some stuff at Wal Mart to get rid of them; somewhere between the rat poison and the orange juice sections.

D-Yea it’s called anchovie paste. Good luck getting them to eat that.

M-Perhaps we could get them to be jealous. We must park Jon’s car next to mine, open his trunk, let them see his luxurious carpeted trunk  and then they’ll no longer be my problem. At that point, I will use the anchovie paste to keep new ones from populating my trunk again.

D-I agree with this plan. When should we commence extraction. On the downside it may smell a bit fishy.

M-No no no. Wal Mart offers a pleasant Green Rainforest scented paste. Much more pleasing to the nose.

D-But that will stain. It will look like mold.

M-Plastic? Also might do a double duty if we ever get caught in the   rain. Actually, I believe, if they haven’t eaten it yet, there’s a  rain poncho. Maybe we could fashion that into a container for holding pastes.

D-Yes, your evil plan for removing the trunk gnomes may just work.


Holy firepower batman!

The Prez’s Arsenal

As it says in the article…ever wonder what or who’s in the vehichles making up the Presidential motorcade??

Well… they think it’s one of these:


This is what the real csi drive. They drive a beat up ford explorer. Not a hummer. Not a fancy yukon denali. Or at least that’s what the Illinois state CSI drive at least.